


The Others... Limericks

by dairesfanficrefuge_archivist



Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-31
Updated: 2004-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-18 07:25:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11869434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist/pseuds/dairesfanficrefuge_archivist
Summary: Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived atDaire's Fanfic Refuge. Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDaire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile.





	The Others... Limericks

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Daire's Fanfic Refuge](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Daire%27s_Fanfic_Refuge). Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Daire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/dairesfanficrefuge/profile).

The Others... Limericks

**The Others... Limericks**

_**Some basically good- except for a wee touch of malice  
Some really, really nasty-with a small but endearing drop of likeability   
The rest? -Oh those! ... I forgot to include them in 'The Good,' and 'The Bad' ... had to stick 'em somewhere! **_

Here goes! Enjoy! 

  
**_Graham Ashe_**

You were the 'best of the best'   
But you failed the ultimate test   
'Mercy!' you pleaded   
That plea went unheeded   
Your shame, Duncan later redressed! 

  
**_Armando Baptista_**

How can you ever atone-   
For killing your wife and Ramon?   
All know it's the fashion-   
In high crimes of passion-   
To the wealthy-much leeway is shown! 

  
**_Leo Atkins_**

You clambered up out of the wood   
And stood where you shouldn't have stood   
Saw Lucas-neck oozing   
Sheriff Crowley-accusing   
And nearly were shut up for good! 

  
**_Colonel Everett Bellian_**

Your Lori was raped! Your solution?   
Revenge and a swift retribution   
Your plan military   
Was overkill-very!   
Result? More than _one_ execution! 

  
**_Mikey Bellow_**

Your IQ was not very high-   
But show you a train? My, oh my!   
Strong fits you would throw-   
So you had to go   
Before you snuffed some passerby! 

  
**_Charles Browning_**

For poaching-Mac should have been dead   
You kept them from chopping his head   
You ate a good share-   
Of that unlucky bear   
Then tried to take Mac's head instead! 

  
**_Lord Byron_**

Your verses so poignantly penned   
Eternal, the heights they transcend   
But angry years left-   
You twisted, bereft   
Enough! Let your misery end! 

  
**_Alfred Cahill_**

Unsettling, to be resurrected   
Deciding that you'd been selected-   
To cleanse and to purge-   
The prostitute scourge   
By killing them, they'd be corrected! 

  
**_Carlo Capodimonte_**

Face masked, underhanded you stole-   
Desiree's winning bankroll   
That watch on Mac's wrist-   
You couldn't resist,   
It cost your casino-you troll! 

  
**_Benny Carbassa_**

Treating Mac's friendship like dirt   
Squeamish, afraid to be hurt   
Too much of a jerk-   
To attempt honest work   
You're a weasely, cowardly squirt! 

  
**_Carolyn_**

A diva, with temper extreme   
A triumphant comeback-your dream   
When Ursa, you spurned   
You painfully learned-   
All people are not as they seem! 

  
**_Michael Christian_**

Playing The Game-how you cheated!   
To insider info were treated   
Did you enjoy-   
Being Rita's boy toy?   
No matter-you still were defeated! 

  
**_Danny Cimoli_**

Sadly, you couldn't refrain-   
From stunts in the public domain   
Your follies-recurrent!   
Houdini-you weren't!   
Now Mama won't see you again! 

  
**_Haresh Clay_**

Carter Wellan-your buddy-was dead   
As payback, you sought Richie's head-   
Duncan was willing-   
To postpone your killing-   
But, _'It's what we do'_ s'what you said! 

  
**_Warren Cochrane_**

Your Bonnie Prince Charlie obsessions-   
Led to some major transgressions   
It wasn't prudent-   
To murder your student   
You need anger management sessions! 

  
**_Jim Coltek_**

You wandered the world, disconnected   
Its evils and pain, you collected   
Your 'bottomless cup'-   
Began to fill up-   
Leaving your soul unprotected! 

  
**_Marcus Constantine_**

As general of Rome, you invaded-   
Egypt, whose houses you raided   
Cleopatra did gasp-   
'Come bite me, you asp!'   
And her handmaiden's hate never faded! 

  
**_Brian Cullen_**

Once you were known as 'the best'   
A 'cut above' all of the rest   
Your confidence fled,   
Then you lost your head-   
To Mac, (when you flunked your drug test!) 

  
**_Theresa del Gloria_**

You yearned for MacLeod (no baloney)   
But Papa said-'Marry Consone!   
'Otavio's a charmer   
MacLeod's a pig farmer-   
Unsuitable for matrimony!' 

  
**_Annie Devlin_**

You're Irish right down to the core   
Will 'die' for the Cause you fight for   
But those you recruit-   
To bomb and to shoot   
Will rise from the dead-nevermore! 

  
**_Betsy Fields_**

You once loved a fellow named Joe   
He could run, he could kick, he could throw   
But 'Nam took its toll   
He's no longer whole   
Yet, still you yearn for him so! 

  
**_Juliette Fitzcairn_**

You seemed such a luscious coquette-   
When you joined your Fitzie's duet   
But you're a cold witch   
A hard-hearted bitch-   
With a shriek like a stuck marmoset! 

  
**_Jacob Galati_**

When the bastards took Irena's head-   
Those renegade Watchers were led-   
By Horton (the rat)   
You claimed tit for tat   
And vowed-very soon-they'd be dead! 

  
**_John Garrick_**

The gargoyles of stone you create   
Are fashioned with vengeance and hate   
MacLeod never knew-   
You were roasted, au jus   
He thought you'd escaped, you ingrate! 

  
**_Walter Graham_**

If you cannot write your _own_ story-   
You'll bask in _another_ one's glory   
To make Ms. Jardine-   
Immortal-was _mean!_   
And she's _not_ appreciatory! 

  
**_Ingrid Henning_**

When seeking to whack bigots out-   
Be wary when Duncan's about   
What you deem a service-   
Makes the Highlander nervous   
At heart, he is still a Boy Scout! 

  
**_Kage a/k/a John Kirin_**

Your dark evil nature-unbending   
Greed, lust for money-unending   
Ignoring Mac's cry-   
You left kids to die   
Are you sorry...or merely pretending? 

  
**_Kamir_**

You saw it as your sacred goal-   
Restitution of India's soul   
That Kali of gold-   
You murdered to hold-   
And return to your homeland's control! 

  
**_Kassim_**

'A life for a life', you agreed   
Now Duncan this promise must heed   
But stop your harassin'   
MacLeod's no assassin   
And now Hamad's pissed off indeed! 

  
**_Steven Keane_**

For centuries long you have striven   
By honor and vengeance were driven   
At last-confrontation!   
Your pride's satiation!   
Now, will MacLeod be forgiven? 

  
**_David Keogh_**

No woman (of right mind), you feel-   
Can withstand your heartfelt appeal   
Your offer of marriage-   
If she dares disparage   
You'll only re-double your zeal! 

  
**_Willie Kingsley_**

When Molly's death tore you apart-   
You saw it all wrong from the start   
You shot Edward Banner-   
In a dastardly manner   
But _sonny boy_ killed your sweetheart! 

  
**_Marcus Korolus_**

'Cause your golden-haired Jezebel-   
Put you through torture and Hell   
Every blonde, you would slice   
But Korolus...think twice!   
Brunettes can be bitchy as well! 

  
**_Inspector LeBrun_**

How you regret ever meeting-   
Immortals (you sure took a beating!)   
Xavier's thug shot you   
Then Sendaro got you-   
A plot-six feet deep-graveside seating! 

  
**_Sara Lightfoot_**

Your little girl's loss drove you wild,   
Rememb'ring how sweetly she smiled   
But Mac made you see-   
The answer can't be-   
Stealing another man's child! 

  
**_Rebecca Lord_**

Believing Mac killed Walter Reinhardt-   
You honed your revenge to a fine art   
Then Mac made you alter-   
Your feelings for Walter   
By proving Reinhardt had a swine-heart! 

  
**_Ian MacLeod_**

You raised Duncan up as your own   
Made him fight Robert, when grown   
When-in battle-he died-   
You screamed, 'Leave my side!'   
And forced him to wander-alone! 

  
**_Mako_**

Your pleasures? Exceedingly few   
No laughter, no women nor brew   
Each day cold and spare   
Just beheadings and prayer   
Immortality's _wasted_ on you! 

  
**_Mara_**

Karros excited and thrilled you-   
'Till his foul treachery chilled you   
Charlie adored you   
Wooed and amour'd you   
Then Andrew Cord went and _killed_ you! 

  
**_David Markum_**

Dealing with hoods isn't smart   
You knew you were wrong from the start   
Criminals are funny   
When they lend you money-   
Pay up-or they'll rip out your heart! 

  
**_Maurice_**

On you, Mac can always depend-   
To wheedle some spare francs to spend   
Your cooking-fantastic!   
Your manner-bombastic!   
But-all in all-you're a friend! 

  
**_Peggy McCall_**

With Joey, your life was delicious   
But his brother Sid, was ambitious   
Now you discover-   
That Sid killed your lover   
And then married you-how malicious! 

  
**_Agent Matthew McCormick_**

You saved Carl the slave-took him in   
Were outraged-when he killed your kin   
Now, looking back-   
Encouraged by Mac-   
You'll pardon that one little sin! 

  
**_Randi McFarland_**

Reporter, inveterate snoop   
Digging, unearthing the poop   
MacLeod-you annoyed   
With Tessa, you toyed   
You'd sell your own Mom for a scoop! 

  
**_Methos a/k/a Adam Pierson_**

Regretting mistakes that you made-   
In 5000 years with your blade   
Be of good cheer!   
Raise that cold beer!   
A toast to your Watcher charade! 

  
**_Midori_**

One day you entered the dojo-   
Seeking Hideo's quid pro quo   
Your ancestor knew-   
MacLeod would come through-   
For _you,_ if your surname was Koto! 

  
**_Michael Moore_**

Two people inhabit you-Mike-O   
One friendly, the other a psycho   
The head you both share-   
You'll no longer wear   
Mac took it, so you take a hike-O! 

  
**_Nefertiri_**

Devoted, you died with your Queen   
Hating the man, Constantine   
After centuries, wrapped-   
You couldn't adapt-   
To a culture that you'd never seen! 

  
**_Victor Paulus_**

Peace is the pathway for you   
It permeates all that you do   
But you cannot teach it,   
Practice or preach it-   
Without help from Duncan's kung fu! 

  
**_Gregor Powers_**

Your temper is oft cataclysmal   
Compassion for others-abysmal   
Your outlook, once placid   
Now seething with acid-   
Must change, or your future looks dismal! 

  
**_Cory Raines_**

To you, everything is a joke   
Life is all mirrors and smoke   
To gals, you appeal   
They spend what you steal   
That's why you will always be broke! 

  
**_Alex Raven_**

For battling injustice you scored-   
One hundred per cent, but my Lord! -   
We cannot forget you   
Your Quickening will get you-   
The Immortal wet T-shirt award! 

  
**_Mark Roszca_**

Drugs turned you into a mess   
You gunned down both Richie and Tess   
Now you're drug-free   
A daddy-to-be   
But you've left behind-bitterness! 

  
**_Christine Salzer_**

When hubby was murdered by Kalas   
You drank bitter brew from life's chalice   
Watchers, Immortals   
You'd slash their aortals   
Exposing their Game, out of malice! 

  
**_Jimmy Sang_**

You had a bad start as a kid   
Now sorry for things that you did   
Johnny Leong taught you,   
His tentacles caught you   
You're lucky you smashed through that lid! 

  
**_Joe Scanlon_**

Your wallet was feeling the pinch   
Soon you'd be mangled by Clinch   
You told Rich, 'Be happy!   
I'm your lost Pappy!'   
Duping that kid was a cinch! 

  
**_Jack Shapiro_**

The death toll of Watchers was rising   
You panicked at each new demising   
The obvious reason-   
Was Joe Dawson's treason-   
With he and MacLeod fraternizing! 

  
**_Simone_**

Abuse that you suffered before-   
Drove you to live as a whore   
Your uncle Maurice-   
Could not help his niece-   
When Kagan pushed you through death's door! 

  
**_Tommy Sullivan (Sully)_**

In the Highlander's friendship you basked   
'One favor' was _all_ that you asked   
Until Mac got wise-   
To your body count size   
Then your true face was unmasked! 

  
**_Kiem Sun_**

You're designing a warrior race-   
To insure that it's _you_ in First Place   
Herbs unorthodox-ic-   
To mortals, are toxic   
Your use of these drugs-a disgrace! 

  
**_Timothy (The Hermit)_**

Why did you live like a mole?   
For centuries, alone in that hole?   
To Duncan, you said-   
'Hey Mac, take my head! -   
Learn how _we_ do rock and roll!' 

  
**_Ursa_**

A giant who tries to be gentle   
His usage of speech rudimental   
Of beauty-a hero!   
With women-a zero!   
It would be like dating a lentil! 

  
**_Michelle Webster_**

Immortality! Gee, what a blast!   
Worry? A thing of the past-   
(Except for those swords-   
That sever neck cords)   
You'd better take lessons-and _fast!_

  
**_Anne Wheeler_**

When Ballin went off on his own   
You couldn't just leave him alone   
'If I can't be his,   
I'll expose what he is!'   
So off of that bridge you were thrown! 

  
**_Dr. Wilder_**

Your research-is it for humanity?   
Or, is it for your own vanity?   
When patients on gurneys-   
Take unwanted journeys   
We really must question your sanity! 

  
**_Pete Wilder_**

Horton used _you_ as his tool   
To get Mac through Richie, (the ghoul!)   
He beat you and burned you-   
Then when Duncan spurned you   
He shot you stone dead...you big fool! 

  
**_Derek Worth_**

Larca-for self-interest-killed you   
With blasphemous thoughts-he instilled you   
MacLeod and your pastor-   
Averted disaster   
And now faith and truth will rebuild you! 

  
**_Hope you enjoyed my ramblings...  
Peace,   
Emit_**

© 2004 

Season 1 ~ Season 2 ~ Season 3   
Season 4 ~ Season 5 ~ Season 6   
The Good... ~ The Bad... ~ The Others...   
  
---


End file.
